I'm a very ironic person.
I roleplay a character that is the complete opposite of me.
And that very aspect has to do with religious belief.
I'm going to be discussing that a little bit tonight.
They are very personal and very strong opinions that I hold, so bear with me.
And no one is forcing you to read my blogs,
So if you don't like them, then you don't have to read them.
Just throwing that out there.
I've had this thought at the very back of my head eating at me all day and I just want people to know what I have discovered.
As you all know, there have been terrible, terrible events occurring in many parts of the world tonight.
My condolences, my love, and empathy is expressed to everyone who is suffering, especially to those in France.
The first thing I read, and for most events in the past that have occurred, were the words "thoughts and prayers."
It doesn't matter what the occasion is,
People just say, without a moment of hesitation, "no matter what happens, we will love you and support you to the point where consequences become ineffective."
Now prior to all of these events, I've had other thoughts cross my mind, and the message I found really coordinates with what has happened this evening.
This all started when I was thinking about an acquaintance of mine,
Well
More like an "ex-lover."
The story is that their parents hated me because not only was I disabled mentally, but I was considered a "distraction" to their child. My ex simply didn't want to follow the path their parents set for them and I agreed.
It wasn't until a year later that I found out everything they told me was, not really a lie, but an exaggerated truth.
I sacrificed so much to make this person happy and not suffer, and their problems weren't even that bad.
So I broke up with them.
About 6 months or so has passed, and in that duration they were in another relationship (a month after the break-up) ended that relationship, moved out of their parents house to live with friends that do nothing but waste their lives with card games (I mean, that's all they do all day everyday) aren't going to college, and developed agnostic religious views.
A year before all of this, they had one of the strongest testimonies I've seen.
So of course since I'm the one that broke their heart,
I'm to blame,
Right?
No, that is wrong.
First of all, I don't know your religious standpoint or what's gone on in your life, but I have a problem when people have found a witness or a reason to believe in an all powerful being, and then stop because "God didn't deliver them."
Let me tell you something.
First off, I believe that we are on this earth to make our own lives and have been given the gift of agency.
Since we have that power, God can't take that away from us.
God can't make every little decision we make, and he can't make decisions for the people around you either. He can only do so much for us.
So if you're in a screwy place, don't pin the blame on others.
It's not my ex's parents fault that my ex decided to move out.
It's not my fault that they chose to lie to me when I loved them so much.
And it's not God's fault that they screwed up.
If you have someone to blame, first, blame yourself.
If you want God involved in your life, then you have to make a true effort, meaning that you must put everything aside and clear your mind. You can't hear a still small voice if you have raging thoughts rambling through your head.
You can't go to Sunday services and expect a direct answer from Him if you still doubt His existence.
The answers we find are in the act.
If you want to be saved by God, then you need to drop everything and act as if He is actually in front of you, waiting for you to take His hand.
Of course, thinking of my ex lead to other scenarios.
What about people dying of famine or disease?
What about things like wars, genocide, and abusive families?
Why would God let those things happen?
Well, I finally have an answer.
Again, God cannot control the decisions other people make.
If you decide to wage a war, whether it's against another country or your extended family, God did not tell you to do that.
As far as disease and famine, starving children, and people who have just had it rough, I can say that life is meant to be a test.
Things aren't meant to go perfectly. Trials and tribulations are sometimes meant to give us attributes to help us grow stronger.
Very few people have had angels administered unto them,
But everyone is obligated to receive help from someone else.
The pure love of Christ by my definition is charity.
Events and organizations, such as fundraisers, Doctors Without Borders, Peace Corps, humanitarian projects, or even something as simple as a soup kitchen, are all the love of God, except it is given to others through us.
When I first found out about Paris, I saw a tweet from someone that has been such a huge inspiration to me, and I honestly thought they were agonistic or atheist.
It was that person I saw first say "our thoughts and prayers go out to our friends in Paris."
For a minute, the world stood still.
If something like this, a decision not made by God, but made by very troubled and very corrupt people,
If an event so catastrophic can cause someone, no, nearly everyone to turn to their higher being to find a way to give sufferers peace instead of blaming said being,
Then maybe the simple problem that executed your faith was never life altering to begin with.
Deliverance may not come right away,
But we will all be saved from suffering and tribulation, no matter the size of the problem,
Whether it be in this life,
Or the next.
I do want to make something clear.
If you believe differently than I do, as I've said before, I don't know what your life is like, I'm not accusing you of being wrong or a sinner.
In fact, if you're more of a scientific person, I could even find ways to connect my views to yours without forcing you to believe in a higher being.
I just want to share why I believe in one, which I will conclude with.
Looking at the foundation of life, I don't think good things just happen.
And by good things, I mean qualities.
The things like love, compassion, empathy, charity, sacrifice, sympathy, kindness, or any other positive attribute.
I also don't think bad qualities, like jealousy, hatred, anger, frustration, or any others just happen either.
I don't think that emotions are nothing more than a drive to help us survive life.
In fact,
I don't want to think that.
I don't want to think that the reason I love my family, my passions, or my strife to be a beacon to others
Is nothing more than an attempt at survival.
If everyone is just living to die,
Then all of the values, rights, purpose, and beliefs that generations of people have fought for
Meant absolutely nothing.
I could be wrong, but that's how I honestly view it.
And I feel that while God has given us the ability to love and to feel, I know He wouldn't give us the capacity to hate.
The natural man is known as the enemy of God.
My interpretation is that our person is vulnerable to the temptations of the adversaries around us.
That's the nature of humans,
But that isn't the nature of our spirits.
We each have our own likes, dislikes, and positive qualities.
Basically, I feel like our spirit gives our nature the power to resist enemy territory.
I feel like there are so many good people, and diverse people, and people who are just too good to be true, don't just happen.
A lot of people question my faith, mostly because most of it doesn't make sense or seem fair.
I can tell you this,
We have always been told that questioning isn't highly favored,
But my faith has grown through questioning.
Sometimes there are things that seem unfair or wrong to me.
And I know they aren't wrong because they came from God.
Instead of letting the part of me that wants to argue and protest a rule, I need to understand why it happened in the first place.
I feel like that happens with people as well.
I could spend time judging someone based on something as dumb as the way they...fold their laundry.
Just because it's different than from what I do, that individual in particular has those techniques because it's easier or more efficient.
Sometimes things must be broken down to see why they are efficient, even if they seem unfair.
Again, life is unfair
But those who learn not from their mistakes learn nothing at all.
So, my treasures, that is what crossed my mind today, and I hope that more than anything, it was able to help you.
I'd hate to write these blogs if they aren't of use to you.
And even if you disagree,
I hope I have you the power to fight for something.
I must retire for the night.
I love you all so, so much.
Wherever you are in the world,
I know God is watching all of us.
Sweet dreams.
Your Earl of Sweets,
Ciel Phantomhive
