Ah, there is nothing I love more than writing blog posts at 1 in the morning.
Except for maybe,
I dunno,
SLEEP!!!!
My writer is cleaning their room, why they chose to do it at 1 am, I'll never know, but I may as well write while I observe them....
Anyway,
Quite some time has passed since we've last seen each other.
I do apologize for my inactivity my past few days.
I've been mostly on my writer account.
While there is nothing I love more than roleplaying with all of you,
Sometimes I need a short break.
I do manage about 13-14 accounts after all.
So while I'm on my writer account, I talk casually to some of my other online friends, and for some reason Sebastian feels like he can be a weirdo around me.
I get it, my writer is, well, my writer
And they're both idiots,
But, I don't want to participate in their stupid, weird, fandom banter.
I have better things to do.
Not the point.
My writer has discovered that they fancy someone over the Internet.
I couldn't be more disappointed in them.
While a lot of people do meet online and develop lifelong relationships and friendships, I feel like my writer has gone in over their head a little bit.
They tend to do that.
They are an extremely hopeless romantic and tend to obsess over people they have found attractive.
It's not too bad, but they are, as you say, demisexual.
So when they obsess over that one person they feel that emotional connection with, the other person tends to...feel uncomfortable.
So the typical pain of a breakup or finding out that your crush will never like you back is enhanced by at least 10% because that emotional connection will always mean something to my writer, but not the other person.
It's a shame, really.
They'll probably get hurt, but then again maybe they'll snap out of this Twitter world and actually go out and get a life.
I wouldn't hold my breath though.
While I can teach them how to save GIFS to their cellphone,
I'm not a miracle worker.
So today, they go through their usual charade of sitting around, wondering what that said person is doing, being afraid to message them and bugging them, and starting to think irrational thoughts and getting upset for no reason just to find out that there was a reason, but completely made up due to their own fatigue and worrying, when they FINALLY decide to message them.
My writer likes to RP as themselves, and so this particular person RPs a character that my writer ships with their OC.
However, this person hadn't been on that account for quite a while now and just spoke to me more and more on their writer account instead of their character.
So I ask them "Hey, does so and so still love me because I'm thinking about changing my bio?"
-secretly hoping I can add their name instead because you never know. You never know.-
And then they said something about not RPing for a while and being too depressed to log onto Twitter.
Since I'm the one that people feel like they can come to with their problems, I was able to discuss what was going on in their lives.
My first thought was:
"Dammit, I'm going to Hell."
I mean, complaining and causing unnecessary drama will be my downfall.
After I gave them my two cents, they did manage to feel better, but I still feel like it isn't exactly enough.
So I thought "why don't I write a blog post? I never write anymore so now I have a reason to."
And I've managed to come up with something that can apply to all of you.
While cleaning, I came across this song called "Shards of Glass."
Now since I'm very religious, I obviously sing a lot of Christian music.
I remember the day I found this song actually. I read the description about how it's based upon people sacrificing their most prized possessions to contribute to the building of a temple in the Lord's name.
At the time, they didn't have enough materials to make this temple, so they decided to give up things like their China and valuables and offer them to God instead.
All of those things that people had sacrificed helped the cause and created a beautiful temple of the lord, that still stands today.
I'm not sure if it's just a myth behind the creation of that temple, but why do we have myths in the first place?
Myths are often stories or logic to explain the meaning of something.
However, the Lord didn't teach others through myths and folklore, but through parables.
The first line of the chorus in this song is:
"He can take our broken shards of glass to color temple walls
He can mend our broken places and make temples of us all."
Every single one of us has fears, anxieties, doubts, and things we struggle with throughout our lives,
But we also have talents, admirable traits, and individuality that make us anything but worthless.
Whether you're Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddist, Athiest, or whatever you classify yourself as, think of how this applies to you.
Our broken places often come in the forms of heartache, despair, disappointment, and weariness.
And sometimes these broken places can shatter our views of ourselves, replacing our traits and talents with anger and degradation.
But sometimes we can take these broken shards and make them into a new material. A colorful, beautiful, and bolder material by refining ourselves.
And once we've refined ourselves and rediscover our beautiful colors, then the broken places slowly start to mend, and once they are fulfilled again, then we've become beautiful temples of our own.
The first step in refining yourself is to remember that there is nothing more beautiful than your life.
Sometimes our sight is blinded by darkness, death, trouble in the home, or trouble within ourselves, but people already view you as a beautiful temple.
Every life is valuable and perfect in its own way. In my opinion, if you're here, then you have a reason to be.
You just don't know it yet.
While our struggles can range from a family death,
Mental illness,
Physical impairment,
Abuse in the home,
Abuse at school,
Someone close to you contemplating suicide,
You contemplating suicide,
And accidentally using a Masterball on a pidgey,
You are never alone.
You'll always have family, friends, professionals, and even me to turn to.
I may not understand exactly what life is like in your shoes
And I really hate to say this
But I've been through a lot in my life.
I've had so many people gossip about me, friends betray me by using mental illness against me, cyberbullying, bullying in real life, being bullied by teachers, losing some important loved ones, even by the hand of suicide, and I've even cut myself a time or two.
I'm not saying my problems are worse than yours, but that there is no one (other than my God) that is more understanding than me.
I will never judge you, and I will love you more than anyone ever has before.
I'll admit, sometimes I'll come off as cold hearted, but only if I feel you need to hear it, not because I hate you.
Like I said, I love you, and I always will.
While today is the start of a new week, start writing down some goals.
It can be anything.
Maybe it's to make amends with old friends,
Or to make a new friend.
Maybe you struggle with addiction, work to be clean for a week.
If you can't walk, try moving your toes, or take at least one step.
Maybe you haven't been happy lately, make it a goal to make just one person happy, and maybe a smile will appear on your face.
Whatever it is you can think of, write it down right now, and next week when we meet again, I'll share an experience based on the goal I will choose for myself.
Anyway, I hope this blog post was helpful,
And start the new week by looking into the mirror and telling the person looking back at you that you love them.
I know I do.
Your Earl of Sweets,
Ciel Phantomhive.
