A Thanksgiving Special: Cooking With the Soul

Good evening,

I hope you all had a wonderful "Thanksgiving."

My butler and I chose to observe this American Holiday. It was interesting, my butler made me a feast while I watched him hide his despair that he will not yet have one.

Hmhm~

Anyway, I suppose I should express my gratitude or whatever.

So, I shall begin.

I'm thankful that I'm rich, because if I were poor, I wouldn't so easily be able to work my way to power.

I'm thankful for sweets, because they are a rather tasty delicacy.

I'm thankful for toys, because they make kids smile, thus, making their parents spend more money.

I'm thankful for books, because of the vast knowledge they contain.

I'm thankful for my idiot servants, mostly because they make me feel better about myself

(And, they fulfill their duty as Phantomhive servants)

I'm thankful for my followers, because they remind me that my Twitter actually has a purpose and can be used in helpful ways.

Lastly I'm thankful for my butler, because, um, well, I'd be buried with my family without him by my side...

And, he's a good person. He's the one person I have no problem talking to. Perhaps it's easier speaking to a screen than a face, but, getting to know him and having him as an RP partner is an honor. I'm really privileged to consider him a close friend of mine.

B-But that doesn't mean there will be any yaoi!

Anyway, I guess these blogs are known for having an inspirational message, so, here it goes.

It really disappointed me when I found out that some of my family or friends were celebrating thanksgiving by themselves. It also disappointed me when I found out that my friends feel inferior to other family members or that they live in a home where they don't feel loved.

I can't go over to you and offer my home, provisions, or the world, but how about this instead?

Thanksgiving is symbolic of two very different worlds actually stopping their conflict to get along for once.

They ended up having war upon war after, 

But for one day,

Everything was perfect.

There are multiple holidays where we can observe this practice, but there will be times when we see family that we hardly speak to, have conflict within our own homes, or end up alone.

Ironic coming from me, but I encourage you to let this one day be a moment where you swallow your pride and actually tell someone you love them.

Don't let arguing prevent relationships.

Don't leave your family alone because of your own selfish plans.

And don't feel like nobody loves you.

Someone was grateful for you today and if you don't believe that, believe that it's me who's grateful for you.

You think you don't matter?

Well, you matter to me?

You think I'm lying?

I'll order my butler to tell you the truth about my feelings for you, and he will say the same thing as I.

What strikes me most is that when the weather gets colder and the world gets darker, we make our homes and our hearts warmer.

My soul creation was to make one person happy.

Just one.

No matter what your scenario is, I encourage you to make just one person happy.

It will be then when you find pure joy, because nothing feels better than putting a smile one someone's face, and knowing that you put it there.

Hopefully as this season grows colder, the manor will grow warmer, and I will invite any who need refuge.

I may be arrogant,

But I will not save someone just to brag about it,

Or to fulfill a debt.

Even a Scrooge of an Earl like me can have compassion once in a while.

Oh, and since Thanksgiving is over we can celebrate Christmas now I suppose.

Although I prefer to wait December 1.

Anyway, stay strong little pawns, and don't let this fight against life bring you down.

Trust in your King, and that he will make all the right moves just for you~

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive 

The Sun Won't Rise Tomorrow

My life will be my tomb

Because of what happened tonight

Alone in your room

Draped with a sheet of moonlight

Bathed in your blood

Drowning in sadness

Your name caked in mud

Enshrouded in madness

Standing in the rain

I call out your name

What answers my calls is pain

I will never be the same

You create a horrid sight

With the silvery ruby knife

I couldn't win the fight 

I couldn't save your life

And the image my mind is painting

Is like covering a wound with salt

My spirit takes the blaming

Because it was all my fault

I wasn't there when you needed me

And it's happened once or twice

What you needed, I couldn't be 

Because of me, the world is ice

Fulfilled with endless sorrow

At that moment I knew

The sun won't rise tomorrow

Because the sun only shines for you

-Ciel Phantomhive

Prayers for the World

I'm a very ironic person.

I roleplay a character that is the complete opposite of me.

And that very aspect has to do with religious belief.

I'm going to be discussing that a little bit tonight.

They are very personal and very strong opinions that I hold, so bear with me.

And no one is forcing you to read my blogs,

So if you don't like them, then you don't have to read them.

Just throwing that out there.

I've had this thought at the very back of my head eating at me all day and I just want people to know what I have discovered.

As you all know, there have been terrible, terrible events occurring in many parts of the world tonight.

My condolences, my love, and empathy is expressed to everyone who is suffering, especially to those in France.

The first thing I read, and for most events in the past that have occurred, were the words "thoughts and prayers." 

It doesn't matter what the occasion is,

People just say, without a moment of hesitation, "no matter what happens, we will love you and support you to the point where consequences become ineffective."

Now prior to all of these events, I've had other thoughts cross my mind, and the message I found really coordinates with what has happened this evening.

This all started when I was thinking about an acquaintance of mine,

Well

More like an "ex-lover."

The story is that their parents hated me because not only was I disabled mentally, but I was considered a "distraction" to their child. My ex simply didn't want to follow the path their parents set for them and I agreed.

It wasn't until a year later that I found out everything they told me was, not really a lie, but an exaggerated truth.

I sacrificed so much to make this person happy and not suffer, and their problems weren't even that bad.

So I broke up with them.

About 6 months or so has passed, and in that duration they were in another relationship (a month after the break-up) ended that relationship, moved out of their parents house to live with friends that do nothing but waste their lives with card games (I mean, that's all they do all day everyday) aren't going to college, and developed agnostic religious views.

A year before all of this, they had one of the strongest testimonies I've seen.

So of course since I'm the one that broke their heart,

I'm to blame,

Right?

No, that is wrong.

First of all, I don't know your religious standpoint or what's gone on in your life, but I have a problem when people have found a witness or a reason to believe in an all powerful being, and then stop because "God didn't deliver them."

Let me tell you something.

First off, I believe that we are on this earth to make our own lives and have been given the gift of agency.

Since we have that power, God can't take that away from us.

God can't make every little decision we make, and he can't make decisions for the people around you either. He can only do so much for us.

So if you're in a screwy place, don't pin the blame on others.

It's not my ex's parents fault that my ex decided to move out.

It's not my fault that they chose to lie to me when I loved them so much.

And it's not God's fault that they screwed up.

If you have someone to blame, first, blame yourself.

If you want God involved in your life, then you have to make a true effort, meaning that you must put everything aside and clear your mind. You can't hear a still small voice if you have raging thoughts rambling through your head.

You can't go to Sunday services and expect a direct answer from Him if you still doubt His existence.

The answers we find are in the act.

If you want to be saved by God, then you need to drop everything and act as if He is actually in front of you, waiting for you to take His hand.

Of course, thinking of my ex lead to other scenarios.

What about people dying of famine or disease?

What about things like wars, genocide, and abusive families?

Why would God let those things happen?

Well, I finally have an answer. 

Again, God cannot control the decisions other people make.

If you decide to wage a war, whether it's against another country or your extended family, God did not tell you to do that.

As far as disease and famine, starving children, and people who have just had it rough, I can say that life is meant to be a test.

Things aren't meant to go perfectly. Trials and tribulations are sometimes meant to give us attributes to help us grow stronger. 

Very few people have had angels administered unto them,

But everyone is obligated to receive help from someone else.

The pure love of Christ by my definition is charity.

Events and organizations, such as fundraisers, Doctors Without Borders, Peace Corps, humanitarian projects, or even something as simple as a soup kitchen, are all the love of God, except it is given to others through us.

When I first found out about Paris, I saw a tweet from someone that has been such a huge inspiration to me, and I honestly thought they were agonistic or atheist.

It was that person I saw first say "our thoughts and prayers go out to our friends in Paris."

For a minute, the world stood still.

If something like this, a decision not made by God, but made by very troubled and very corrupt people,

If an event so catastrophic can cause someone, no, nearly everyone to turn to their higher being to find a way to give sufferers peace instead of blaming said being,

Then maybe the simple problem that executed your faith was never life altering to begin with.

Deliverance may not come right away,

But we will all be saved from suffering and tribulation, no matter the size of the problem,

Whether it be in this life,

Or the next.

I do want to make something clear.

If you believe differently than I do, as I've said before, I don't know what your life is like, I'm not accusing you of being wrong or a sinner.

In fact, if you're more of a scientific person, I could even find ways to connect my views to yours without forcing you to believe in a higher being.

I just want to share why I believe in one, which I will conclude with.

Looking at the foundation of life, I don't think good things just happen.

And by good things, I mean qualities.

The things like love, compassion, empathy, charity, sacrifice, sympathy, kindness, or any other positive attribute.

I also don't think bad qualities, like jealousy, hatred, anger, frustration, or any others just happen either.

I don't think that emotions are nothing more than a drive to help us survive life.

In fact,

I don't want to think that.

I don't want to think that the reason I love my family, my passions, or my strife to be a beacon to others

Is nothing more than an attempt at survival.

If everyone is just living to die,

Then all of the values, rights, purpose, and beliefs that generations of people have fought for

Meant absolutely nothing.

I could be wrong, but that's how I honestly view it.

And I feel that while God has given us the ability to love and to feel, I know He wouldn't give us the capacity to hate.

The natural man is known as the enemy of God.

My interpretation is that our person is vulnerable to the temptations of the adversaries around us.

That's the nature of humans,

But that isn't the nature of our spirits.

We each have our own likes, dislikes, and positive qualities. 

Basically, I feel like our spirit gives our nature the power to resist enemy territory.

I feel like there are so many good people, and diverse people, and people who are just too good to be true, don't just happen.

A lot of people question my faith, mostly because most of it doesn't make sense or seem fair.

I can tell you this,

We have always been told that questioning isn't highly favored,

But my faith has grown through questioning.

Sometimes there are things that seem unfair or wrong to me.

And I know they aren't wrong because they came from God.

Instead of letting the part of me that wants to argue and protest a rule, I need to understand why it happened in the first place.

I feel like that happens with people as well.

I could spend time judging someone based on something as dumb as the way they...fold their laundry.

Just because it's different than from what I do, that individual in particular has those techniques because it's easier or more efficient.

Sometimes things must be broken down to see why they are efficient, even if they seem unfair.

Again, life is unfair

But those who learn not from their mistakes learn nothing at all.

So, my treasures, that is what crossed my mind today, and I hope that more than anything, it was able to help you.

I'd hate to write these blogs if they aren't of use to you.

And even if you disagree,

I hope I have you the power to fight for something.

I must retire for the night.

I love you all so, so much.

Wherever you are in the world,

I know God is watching all of us.

Sweet dreams.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive

A Few Weeks Later...

Hello there,

I apologize for my lack of writing, to be honest, I forgot I had a blog until about...

6-ish hours ago?

Whatever.

Nothing interesting has happened for me so far.

I guess I'll just update about the idiot-I mean- my writer again.

They've been feeling unwell today. Another stress headache, overwhelming nausea, craving this disgusting crap you adolescents call "food."

Honestly what has happened to society?

Oh yes,

I remember what it is,

Alois Trancy happened.

Bah!

I'll cut the boy some slack,

For now.

I'm actually quite thrilled to have met another Alois. I like roleplaying with him, and he's quite good.

Speaking of "good," if you want to RP with me, don't hesitate to do so.

You don't need to have a certain level of experience or accuracy, this is all meant to be fun, not a contest on who is the best.

Although, I have been watching more Kuroshitsuji to become a Earl.

I got pretty angry when a different Ciel called me a "cosplayer" and a "fake" because I apparently "don't reveal my tactics to others," which is the dumbest thing anyone has ever told me because I've done it multiple times throughout Kuroshitsuji.

I actually didn't get "pretty angry,"

I was flat out pissed,

And I'm still bitter about it.

Then my butler told me that wanting to kill everyone is out of character.

How is that out of character?

I'm pretty sure that everyone wants to kill someone irritating and annoying. I was doing Twitter a favor.

Then again...

He is smart about these kinds of things.

....cat-obsessed moron.

Oh yes, I do have something new and interesting to talk about.

I am now attending school.

It is known as "Black Ink Academy."

It's quite interesting to be honest.

For those who don't know, Black Ink Academy, or BIA, is a Twitter role play account

They hire "teachers" and recruit "students" and conduct classes, dorm rooms, and many more through DM.

I'm only taking one course, and that's physics, but there are many options, such as: English, drama, physics, dissecting, shipping (yes that's a class), comedy, art, history, computers, and even a roleplaying class for those of you who, well, just aren't good at it.

No offense. 

In addition to courses, you can take quests to earn some currency, which you can spend at their shops.

Teachers also make 10,000 a week.

I'm still new to the system so I fear I can't explain more, but I encourage you to join.

It's easy to join, and anyone can attend the school. First you need to copy an application from their website and send it to the main Twitter account through DM. You can apply as either a student or a teacher. 

Oh, and don't forget to read the rules as well. 

Also, the students, I've noticed, have been eager to have a "prom."

I asked my writer what that is, and they said that it's basically a ball, except much louder, the guests go "all out" with their appearance, people just jump up and down or sway instead of actual dancing, and instead of refined cuisine, you're served some sort of treat with dyed corn syrup as a drink.

Fun, yes?

I honestly don't know a whole lot on modern balls, but I won't surpass them.

So far only a few students are available for prom, and they can't have it if only 2-3 people are going. 

Therefore,

Sign up for BIA and we will have a prom as celebration.

That's all I really have to say.

And for those 5 pawns who actually read my blogs, I give you many thanks.

As for the rest of you,

Freaking read my blogs or I'll remove you from my chess board.

Oh, and if I wake up to 800 followers, I may actually compliment someone tomorrow.

Until then, I bid thee goodnight.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive

BIA Main Account: @BlackInkAcademy

School Website: http://ladymonochromenigh.wix.com/blackinkacademy

Tormented

I know I said I wouldn't post negative blogs,

But I have to get this off of my chest.

Yesterday was horrible for me.

I've never felt more irritated in my entire life.

It's almost too much to bear, and remembering it will just make me feel worse.

However,

A good friend of mine said its good to keep a journal to let out your feelings.

So, I'm giving it a try.

I just can't stand the fact...

The fact that...

*Shudders*

National Cat Day is a thing.

They are such repulsive creatures!

Why do we choose to celebrate such arrogant animals that only care for themselves instead of their masters?!

Sebastian is an idiot for loving them.

AND 

I just found out that PEOPLE HAVE DRAWN ME AS A NEKO!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THOSE THINGS ARE?!

THEY'RE LITERALLY CAT PEOPLE!

Honestly! You fandoms make me sick!

I am so disappointed that you would insult me in such a way.

Especially your KING of all people.

Little pawns, it's time that you learned how to truly respect your master.

As a punishment for humiliating me in such a way,

The Halloween Ball I was planning will be cancelled.

Unless you show me your true loyalty, you will be sitting sad and alone, thinking about what could've been.

Next time, I won't be so lenient.

Bow to your King.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive

P.S. I change my mind about cancelling the ball. I'm just going to shoot everyone instead.

A Terrible Person

How peculiar,

Here I am, typing up a blog about how I'm a terrible person,

And two little ladies managed to cheer me up.

Well, here it goes.

It started when someone messaged me and asked if I was okay. Then they went on about how I inspire them with these blogs,

And I was so grateful,

Until one thought crossed my mind.

I'm not a good person 

A lot of guilt caught up with me and I dwelled on it a lot more than I should've.

I stole @LordCiel's butler, knowing there was the slightest possibility that their relationship could be patched.

I replaced two Lizzie's because they weren't online when it was convenient for me.

I've made people angry and cry with this account.

I judge people before I get to know them.

I'm so easily irritated by people and I just pick at their flaws. My biggest fear is that when we all die, people will know what I've thought or said about them.

I'm a terrible person.

And the only thing that keeps me from collapsing under the guilt is that I'm only human.

Humans.

They're a despicable race if you ask me.

Mark Twain once wrote an essay about man being the lower animal.

Mankind claims to be at the top of the chain and every creature bows down to them.

However

In the animal kingdom, animals will do whatever it takes to survive, even to the point of death.

Which brings up the point of hunt.

Animals hunt for survival and to feed their families,

While men merely hunt for sport.

They kill without a thought

And for what?

A trophy?

A sense of pride?

Man will do anything to ensure dominance over others.

Man are also animals,

But the threshold is the fact that humans are gifted to know the difference between right and wrong.

I think we have failed to realize that it's a natural instinct to give into the wrong. It's easy to be bad and it's easy to not try.

So, when we do something wrong, it isn't always intentional.

We have the capability to do something about it, and the capacity to recognize our wrongdoings.

We are given overpowering emotions and feelings to drive us to do the right thing.

Mankind is the lower animal, but we always have the choice to redeem ourselves.

So if you ever have a day where you feel like the most despicable specimen on the planet, remember that you're not.

No one is perfect,

Not even Death the Kid.

Sorry man.

Before I conclude, I'd like to thank everyone for the love and support. It means a lot for you guys to check in on me and say such inspiring things to me. I still want to create a utopian RP world for everyone, and to know that I've helped to some degree when I feel like I've done so much wrong really, really makes me feel overjoyed.

Also, thanks for helping me reach 700 followers.

Let me know what you would like for a gift.

I love you all,

And I bid you goodnight.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive

The Fight

Hello there.

My apologies for not writing these blogs lately.

To be honest, I haven't really had anything to write about.

Nothing exciting has happened lately so I've been kind of lacking.

So, I decided to write about that, and maybe a little bit about my writer.

I feel like nothing exciting has happened because I merely haven't reached out. Things were fun a few months ago, but now my social circle has been slowly shrinking to about 2-5 people.

Compared to having 5 different RPs going on at once, this is bad.

So, instead of waiting for people to reach out to me, I should reach out to them. I will start random RPs from now on. I will ask first of course, but if I want excitement, then I need to start it.

I guess that can be a life lesson.

But I'll make my point later.

My writer has had a rough week. They've been having panic attacks everyday, yesterday they were depressed and mad, and lately things have seemed kind of, well, pointless. There's really no motivation anymore.

I'd also like to apologize for any recent behavior of mine. I've been a little rude lately, a lot more than usual, so I hope you can forgive me for my inappropriate behavior.

As far as me, well, my writer, personally, I have felt nothing more than emptiness. I just feel mad at everyone, I feel afraid to be in touch with my real feelings. I feel like I've started to withdraw and conceal myself from others.

I didn't realize this until a friend of mine asked me why I don't open up.

I always thought it was because I never really had the opportunity to,

But in reality,

I'm afraid to.

What if I just let everything out at once? I may not be able to handle those feelings. I found it was better to just ignore them, but they're always nagging at me like some form of guilt.

Why do I always feel guilty and wrong?

Am I making bad choices?

Am I a bad person?

No,

I just won't let anyone in to help me, because I'm afraid of the aftermath.

Now, as far as my life lesson I mentioned earlier.

If I want excitement, motivation, and drive to do what I want, I need to go out and find it.

I can't wait for things to magically get better, I need to take the initiative to make things better.

If I'm turning away from myself and others, then I need to face those things and connect myself to the world and my life again.

The same can go for you.

If you aren't happy with the way things are, it's up to you to make them better.

We aren't children anymore. We can't depend on others around us to fix everything and make it okay. We need to do it ourselves.

And if we never learn the skills to do that,

How can we make everything okay for the children of our own?

It's scary as Hell,

Believe me, I know,

But life is meant to be Hell-like. 

It will tear us down and rid us of our hope,

But the test is how we overcome it and make our own personal Heavens on Earth. 

Sorry if this was a little depressing, but I've said all that I've needed to say.

Have a wonderful weekend my loyal pawns.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive

Lean on Me

Let's see, today, I've done nothing but give out advice and listen to people's troubles.

Which is all fun, you know, 

But

It hurts me because sometimes there is literally nothing I can do to help you.

The most I could ever do is listen and talk. I really don't know how much of an impact that has on others, but I don't feel like it's much.

But I want to make something clear.

Never hesitate to come to me about something.

For some reason, I like you all.

I enjoy your company and I've made friends.

I must return the favor to you and do everything I can to make you feel joy.

Not really to make me happy,

But because you deserve to be happy.

People never get what they deserve though.

Good people get harassed and abused.

Bad people get a pretty reputation.

It's all fun and games until the very end when you realize that none of it ever mattered in the first place, and who you become is what's more important than the image you make for yourself.

I'm sorry to cut this blog short and that it doesn't make sense, but, I just wanted to say this one thing.

Whether it's hell or high water.

I will remain your constant friend.

Now, little pawns, be good to your king and listen to this song:

http://youtu.be/KEXQkrllGbA

Enjoy it.

That's an order.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive 

Dark Clouds on a Clear Day

You honestly never know what someone is going through.

Before they openly tell you what haunts them, they always hide a dark past behind that fake smile.

Sort of like how we all hide behind our roleplay characters.

It's easy to curse and cut on someone if you're a different person,

But honestly,

Could your admin do the same thing?

Well?

If you're arguing I'm going to call you stupid because you're yelling at a blog post that can't talk back.

And now you feel ridiculous.

Hah.

What a laugh.~

Honestly though,

There's always that one thing that pokes and prods us until we crack.

It whispers to us.

Those whispers echo.

And under the pressure we break.

If I may ask, what's keeping you from getting rid of the problem?

Are you afraid of losing?

Perhaps you're afraid of getting hurt?

Or maybe you're just afraid of being wrong.

You may not be wrong, but there is always that one part of you that questions it. 

"What if you really are wrong?"

"What if I'm just thinking too much?"

"What if I'm humiliated, and I deserve it?"

I can tell you right now, those that are wrong are those that act thinking they are always right.

Whoever haunts you probably thought that they did nothing to offend you,

When it's really quite the opposite.

Right now, your number one priority, is to face the fears within you.

Perhaps you are meant to show this person that they are wrong?

Maybe you're the one that sets them straight in the end.

But I beg that you don't let it fester.

I've let a pretty deep wound of mine fester and boil and it completely runs my life now.

I felt like it would be easier to brush off if I forgot about it,

But every once in a while, it comes back, and I feel so much unease that this problem will never be solved because all I do is run away from it.

It will take some time to solve your problems completely,

But the least you can do right now, is to absolutely swear that you are a person, and not a problem.

Don't let it ruin the beautiful person that you are.

Don't let it do that to you.

If you do, then it wins.

And if you ever feel alone, you know, you aren't.

Not really.

Everyone goes into a battle with an army,

You just need to recruit your soldiers (friends family, or me)

And prepare your weapons (your talents, your courage, and your strength).

It's been a good day.

No matter where you are,

The world looked so beautiful.

So when it feels like the day takes a turn for the worse,

It was never like that to begin with, and it can always straighten out its course.

And remember one more thing:

In the midst of the woods, enshrouded in darkness, shaken by the thunder and the blinded by flashes of lightning, all the monsters end up being just trees.

I love you all, and I hope I was able to provide for you pawns.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive 

Blame

Humanity makes me sick.

I honestly don't understand people anymore.

Here I am, minding my own business, and I come across this riddle.

Some people point to me

Noble people take me

Some people pass me

And others play my game 

What am I?

Well, it's something like that.

Want a minute to guess?

It's okay, I'll wait...

*

**

***

****

*****

******

*******

********

*********

**********

*********

********

*******

******

*****

****

***

**

*

...Did you figure it out?

If not, you're kind of stupid.

//Ciel, mind your manners.

Well the answer is the name of the blog.

//Well I wouldn't have gotten it.

That's because you're stupid.

//-_-...just finish your stupid blog.

Oh yes.

Anyway, taking the blame.

There aren't very many people willing to take the blame anymore because they not only lack the courage but they lack the moral.

I was on one of my other Twitter accounts and read all about how someone is starving themselves because of one of my friends.

Now I am one that likes to get both sides of every story,

But guys,

That's not cool.

You don't blame people for things like suicide and starvation.

Yes, you can blame them for feeling hurt,

But you can't blame them for the choices YOU decide to make.

It isn't fair and it isn't courteous.

That's another thing,

Don't let people get to you.

People are people.

They are obligated to say and do what we want,

However,

I feel like conformity is the new trend.

I literally can't stand up for others or what I believe in because it's "wrong" or "politically incorrect."

I know I'm not alone here.

I know some of you feel the exact same way.

The one advice I can give you is to never compromise your standards.

If you embrace your true self, then many doors will open up to you besides the one everyone expects you to take.

I honestly just don't give a damn about how people view me anymore.

What's more important is how I view myself.

Am I being the person I want to be?

Am I doing good to anyone?

Am I doing bad to anyone?

Am I living up to my morals and expectations?

That's what matters to me.

And I hope one day that all of you will find your foundation and stand firm in it.

You wouldn't want to disappoint your king now would you?

That's what I thought~

Until next time my pawns.

Your Earl of Sweets 

Ciel Phantomhive 

My Renaissance

Good evening pawns.

My writer has had a rough time lately with their beliefs.

You see, they are basically one of the only kids at school that believe what they do and it's hard to express their opinion without getting shot down.

So in English, when once again, their opinion got shot down, they decided to write a little poem.

Note that this isn't meant to offend or target anyone in particular,

There's been a lot of factors that have contributed to this.

Things like, well, school, and people slamming the things that I believe in, and I can't argue back because then somehow I'd be the one at fault.

Anyway, we have been learning about the Harlem Renaissance and going into depth with it, so this poem is called "My Renaissance."

I just have to get of off of my chest.

Here goes nothing:

My Renaissance

 

I'm not a perfect person

I've known since I was young

I will say hurtful things

And I will mean none of them

I'll praise, flatter, and compliment

I'll do what you tell me to do

But somehow I was offensive 

When I was trying to honor you

You call me the worst of things

And I'll tell you that it's fine

But if I misuse one term

You'll rip out my spine

I honestly don't care who you are

A person is a person to me

I just don't understand why

No one sees what I see.

There was a time when art was dominant

Around every turn

Along with math and science

There was always something to learn

A few centuries later

Amongst prejudice and critique

People of color came

And redefined art on Beale Street

Those are the only two

I know of at this time

But if I could have a moment

I'd like to tell you about mine

I could say what I want

And speak what I feel

I won't have to put on a show

I can express what is real

Whether you're gay, lesbian, straight 

Or whoever you feel you are

I'll accept you if you accept me

Is that really so hard?

If you're black, red, yellow

Or your history stands bold

I'll respect you if you respect me

We all have hearts of gold

So now that I've explained

A little bit about my Renaissance 

The one thing that I want the most

Just once, I won't do something wrong

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive

Standing Strong

Hello Pawns,

I accidentally logged on Twitter because I kept getting this chain message.

Turns out it was a farce,

And I managed to get engaged in an RP

Actually a few RPs

So I couldn't log off.

However, I will not be available Sunday's.

I will be available through DM but only if you need something, it's an emergency, you miss me, or you need life long advice. Other than that, no RPing.

Why Ciel?

Why are you leaving us behind for a whole day.

Well here's why:

My writer has been getting a lot of grief for "wasting their life" and "becoming a satanist because of all the demonic anime," so it kind of got to them.

Sunday's will be when they're going to be a good little boy/girl and do their bible study so they won't be a satanist.

I'm kind of exaggerating, but then again I'm really not.

You see, the world we live in is dark, cruel, scary, and profane.

There's a lot of bad media and it's hard to avoid it because it's literally around every turn.

Especially on Twitter.

And, my writer is a generally kind person. Or at least they were until they were fed up with everyone. There are days when my words aren't the kindest outside of RP, and I wasn't always like that.

But then again, some of us need tough love in order to get the point across.

Life doesn't give us sugar coated trials.

But it doesn't excuse my actions. I was taught to speak to others with kindness, an open mind, and a charitable heart. So I make it my priority to show love and comfort before I say what you may or may not want to hear.

Finally,

I'm going to stand up for what I believe in more.

Again, there's a lot of bad media out there, media that tries to pull me away from what I've worked so hard for. I follow rules and guidelines so that I can speak with kindness and a happy nature, but there are a lot of depressing things and things I find offensive.

So that's why I'm taking a day off.

I have worked hard to resist my temptations and I'm not about to let down my guard. While I love escaping to my perfect internet life, I need to return to reality now and then. I've literally made a deity out of my phone, laptop, and social media. I miss out on a lot of wonderful things that happen right in front of me.

There are times when I must simply put real life before my beloved fantasies. 

I also encourage you to stand up for what you know is right.

There are things that seem hopeless and may cause us to waiver, but you've seen recovery stories of those who have gone off the deep end and came back completely reborn.

You see, we have trials to make us better, not bitter.

And I have allowed myself to become bitter over the action of one person.

That's another thing.

I encourage you to let go of grudges.

I promise you that they aren't healthy.

They make you sick, it runs your life, and it prevents you from growing as a person.

Forgive and forget, because to not forgive is the greater sin.

One more thing before I close.

Each and everyone of you is important. You have love coming to you from every corner whether or not you know it. At times you will feel alone, scared, depressed, and inadequate, but all you have to do is open your heart and let others in to help you.

And if you disagree,

Realize that I will always have my arms around you,

Because no matter what, you'll always be surrounded by my love.

And every single one of you means the absolute world to me and I want to do everything I can do to make sure that you are all happy and that you are all taken care of.

A king may have his pawns

But his first priority is to care for his kingdom.

To every one of you,

I beg and plead that you don't give up.

In order to see the rainbow, you have to get through the rain.

It's hard, believe me, I know.

But you have the choice to either dwell on the things that are holding you down and causing you hurt,  or move on with your head held high, to build a better life

For yourself.

Change begins with you.

Now, I love you all so very much.

I may not be on tomorrow because I have to study for an exam,

But I'll make sure I log on at least once in the evening.

With that, I bid you farewell for now.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive

 

Shabu-Shabu

Hello my pawns.

I hope your day was well.

Mine was...boring.

I got sick again so I didn't really do much. I almost didn't do a blog but I realized I actually did learn something.

First of all, don't take things to personally.

Sebastian got into a huge fight over one little tweet. It really wasn't too big of a deal. They made up, but I still need to say this.

If someone offends you, don't offend the person right away.

Message them saying that your feelings got hurt and I'm sure you'll find that they either didn't mean it or they need to get something off of their chest.

Don't cause unnecessary fights.

Now, what else did I learn?

In a different RP website, I was with Sebastian and some of his friends. We made this dumb dish called Shabu-Shabu. Apparently it is a Japanese dish with thin meat and vegetables all boiled and dipped in sauce.

It wasn't too bad if I say so myself.

But it was nice just to sit around the table with friends eating some strange dish, especially with friends you were "fighting" with.

So, I guess what I mean to say is that sometimes we all just need to get together with people we either love, hate, or love and hate and just share some meal. It's a good way to get along with others, whether you like them or not.

Perhaps I'll invite over some people for dinner tomorrow.

So whenever you get in a fight, just prepare Shabu-Shabu with each other and stop fighting for a minute.

I'm sure you'll like it,

And each other for once.

...That's really all I have for now.

Let's hope something dramatic happens tomorrow.

Sleep well, pawns.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive 

Happy Birthday Sebastian

Hello loyal pawns.

How are you doing this fine morning? 

I would've written this blog last night, but writer dear was very...tired.

Still no excuse.

That moron.

Anyway. Yesterday was my loyal butler's birthday, so I wanted to make a special blog for him.

I'll start with this poem I wrote:

Sebastian is stupid

Sebastian is dumb 

Sebastian is clueless

And Sebastian is scum

However, he is nice

To everyone he meets

He will never think twice

When it comes to meeting my needs

While I always say mean things

And I probably will until the end 

He's the wind under my wings 

And he's my...best friend

Stupid writer.

I hate Sebastian!

//no you don't.

Yes! I do!

//you're secretly obsessed with him and everyone knows it.

Nuh-uh! Don't make up such lies!

//think about it, you're so possessive over him, you got mad when everyone else bought him a cat when you wanted to be the one to do it, and you make him do dumb things to get his attention.

I do not! Honestly where do you come up with such ridiculous things???

//*smirks* well I'm the one that makes you do them.

...

........

...............

...I hate you so much

//hmhm, you're freakin' adorable~

I'M NOT ADORABLE!!!

//Riiight~

//Anyway, should we conclude, I know you have more to say than some dumb poem.

Oh, yes.

Sebastian,

I'm honestly very happy I made the random decision to find you on Twitter. I remember looking for the perfect butler and when I came across you I knew that you were the one.

N-Not in that sense!!!

...Anyway, I'm so glad that we have become good friends and that we have that personal connection as RPers.

And I know I'm not the only one who thinks this,

But you are absolutely genuine.

Happy Birthday Sebastian.

Enjoy your crazy cat lady starter kit~

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive

 

P.S. My dumb writer thought this picture was "uber cute."

//shut up...#galactichug

P.P.S. THERE WILL BE NO YAOI, MANISHA!

Bottling

Hello my pawns.

Nothing interesting really happened today.

Well, nothing I'll admit to.

Although my admin did have a run in with a depression episode,

And it appears they weren't the only one.

It seems like a lot of people had a rough day today.

While I was talking to a good friend of mine, they said that it's never good to bottle, and to always go to someone when you need to just vent.

It really made me feel good inside to know that I have someone looking out for me and support where I least expect it.

I want you know you can always go to me and that you do have friends where you least expect them. You even have family that can help you as well.

We're all family here actually.

Sorry for the short post, I'm just very tired tonight. I'll make sure to learn something interesting for you tomorrow.

In the meantime,

Be my pawn and not Izaya Orihara's.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive 

I'm Home

Hello my pawns.

Please pardon my recent absence. My writer insisted we participate in the "Comic Con," so naturally I was dragged along.

There were a lot of strange people there.

Especially people dressed like me!!!

And people dressed like me wearing a dress!

What a bunch of weirdos...

My writer must have felt right at home.

Anyway, I've been pondering about things to share with you during my absence.

My writer was reunited with once of their best friends and was able to spend time with them at comic con.

It was great to see their smile again, but on the third day they were absent, so my writer's parent went in their stead.

It was honestly their favorite day, spending it with their parent, and it made me think of my own.

 

My own father and mother reached out to me on Twitter.

I'm having a hard time trusting them since I made a deal with a demon to avenge them.

I can hardly believe their really there and I feel like I should reach out,

But my writer is in a similar situation.

They don't want to reach out to their biological family...and I didn't really know why until now.

A lot of you have considered me like your own sibling on this website, and I truly feel honored that you feel close to me in that sense.

I realized that, I don't need the past to feel complete.

I may have a family that is waiting for me to reach out to them, but they are stuck in the past.

The people I have now are much more important

Because they accept me for me, regardless of my attitude,

Because they always do kind things when I don't deserve them,

And

Because they are the ones that are currently with me when I thought I was completely alone.

I have people all over the globe that have helped me get through the hatred and anger my writer channels through me, and I can honestly see some improvements.

They have their days when it gets too hard, like today, but then I talked to people that I love more than my own woes.

Basically, you are my family.

I've never met any of you, but you are my Twitter family.

And you're all important to me.

Yes, I have my days where I judge and get mad and say things I don't mean,

But I swear,

It's because one person ruined my life and my views.

I know you can help me find myself again, even if it means pretending to be someone else.

I'm also very grateful to have reached 500 followers~

I have done a Q&A to celebrate.

I will still take questions and you can ask as many as you'd like.

Until tomorrow my pawns,

Keep fighting for your king.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive

A Quick Update

Salutations.

Sorry I wasn't on today.

I just wanted to be by myself.

My writer received some...stressful news that made them rather upset, so they obviously tend to lash out through me and I felt it would be best to log off for the day.

I'll continue RP's when I can because I will be out of town the next few days.

So I may be available only mornings and nights.

Again I'm truly sorry, but it isn't like people depend on me or anything like that.

I still feel it is necessary to apologize.

Um...

I'm sorry that I have nothing to say...

I just hope that another door will open for me soon.

And for all of you as well.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive

Expectations

I literally did nothing but stay glued to Twitter all day.

By now my butler will be saying I'm addicted,

But he won't because I'll shoot him.

What to say,

What to say?

There isn't a whole lot I could say because everything I do has been offensive.

I didn't want to do a particular RP today and the user blocked me.

I mean honestly...

But I guess the one thing I've been preaching all day is to do what you want do and not what other people expect you to do.

Say what you want.

Do what you want.

You're entitled to your own opinions

Opinions that aren't yours aren't entitled to you.

It's much easier said than done,

But what you think is important now won't be important in the end.

What is important though is what you want to do.

The only person that can stop you is yourself.

Yes, life can throw some terrible curveballs at us,

But what matters is how you react to those situations.

Are you going to swing anyway?

Or drop your bat?

If you strike out,

Then there's always another inning.

While I lost one follower,

I gained 450 others.

I'm grateful for you all.

I'll give you a treat if you all help me reach 500 though~

Don't forget to make your King proud my pawns.

And prayers for @MangaButler.

Something came up this evening so we need to be supportive right now.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive