I'm Tired

Guys,

I'm tired.

I'm tired all the time.

I'm tired when I get home from work. I'm tired when I get home from school, I'm tired after a nice date with my SO, and I'm just...tired.

I hate how something comes up every summer.

Last year, my world was turned completely upside down.

The year before, I couldn't understand why the parents of my ex absolutely hated me.

This year, my dreams were shattered.

Yeah, my college recruited me because they wanted me in their music program, but then gave me a minor status, telling me to try out for a major in December.

I did,

They "didn't know" I was auditioning for one.

So they told me to try again in April.

I did,

They told me I was too far behind. In fact, I was way behind. I'm so far behind that graduating with a music major was too far out of my reach.

And I looked up to this person, I looked up to everyone in the music program, until they took away what mattered most to me.

Then...I just felt so tired.

I felt sick whenever I went to practice my instrument.

When I went to lessons, I came home feeling discouraged, and never wanted to pick up my instrument again.

I hated myself so much, that everything I was once passionate about became tasteless.

My instrument brought me to tears.

My writing felt bland.

And worst of all,

I lost interest in Twitter.

It's true that I became consumed by work and a new relationship I'm in (well, not so new) but only because I needed distractions.

I can't practice, write, or RP at work,

And my lover craves attention, and we are always out and about.

It kept me at a point where I didn't make time for the important things because I didn't feel important enough to do them.

I love roleplaying and all of my internet friends dearly, and I remember telling a lot of them that whenever they feel depressed to log on anyway, that they'll feel better.

That advice became lost to me for a while.

And even though it took a lot of praying, and a lot of pep talks from my family, I got the answers I needed.

I'm not going to let these college keep me from a music major.

Nope, I'm going to transfer.

It probably means that I'll spend less time on Twitter still, because I need to get my GPA up from a 3.75 to a 3.8 so I can get a full ride at said college.

But I love sitting and doing homework with my browser up, roleplaying with all of my friends.

Funny how school made me go on Twitter more...

Then again, I hated my classes.

I still probably will.

Anyway, I want to apologize once again for my inactivity, and to everyone who wanted to go to my ball tonight.

I was just being stupid today, and happened to hang out with my SO and forgot about what life is even about.

Well, if I can recall, it's not just about making the most of everything you do, but making the most of the moments you spend with friends.

Including all of you.

I have no idea when we will have the ball (whether it be tonight or this weekend) 

But I can't wait, and I miss you all.

I'll speak to you again soon.

Your Earl of Sweets,

Ciel Phantomhive